Healing the Rejection Wound

I was cooking dinner and chatting with my daughter as she was dressing up as a bride, wrapped in white sheets and channeling her inner-diva (which she readily has access to). My friend was going to come over for dinner and to grab the sunglasses she left at my home from the dinner we shared the prior week. Logan was excited to talk to her auntie about her first day of school and had her sights set on seeing puppy pics! My friend quite possibly has the cutest dog ever. Anyway, time started to flow away and I realized it was already bath time for Logan. I shot my friend a text checking in and she responded saying she completely forgot about our plans. I was FLOODED. I felt rejected, dismissed, and had a deep sense of my time and energy not being valued. I wrapped her dinner and put it in the fridge, told Logan that we would see my friend again soon (she lives locally), and I sat with these big emotions.

As someone who constantly passes out permission slips for friends to change their minds, cancel plans, or do whatever feels best for them, I was surprised how big this reaction was for me. It wasn't about her NOT COMING, it was about her forgetting. The jarring contrast of me cooking for her and talking about her to my daughter, while our plans completely didn't cross her mind felt painful. After I put Logan down, I journaled about my feelings and realized how deep the rejection wound is for me. I felt conflicted - wanting to bypass a conversation with her about this and skip right to grace. Not only does grace not work like that, but that wouldn't have been in integrity with my Highest Self. I went to bed that night feeling more grounded, yet entered a 6 hour lucid dreamscape which led me through a series of encounters I had experienced with another friend. In each situation, where I had been minorly triggered, the dreams allowed me to play out the worst case scenarios. In each worst case scenario, I was left feeling rejected, dismissed, and that my time and energy was not being respected. And yet, after the dream sequence came to an end, I understood the lesson.

NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR POWER.

NO ONE CAN REJECT YOU, BUT YOU.

YOU ARE A DIVINE, SOUVEREIGN BEING.

I always tell my clients that "rejection is divine redirection"... and I believe that. Yet, last week it became clear where I still had big fears attached to this old wound. I started to look at the subtle ways I manipulate situations or don't use my voice in an attempt to protect myself from being rejected. How courageous it is to operate from the heart, fully embodied, and trust the universal intelligence that is working through you! How bold to connect to your truth and speak with transparency and integrity, even when your voice might be shaking! How brave it is to trust both yourself and the people in your life, while having deep faith that the Divine is giving you whatever curriculum is needed on your soul's unique journey?!

I woke up that morning and sent a voice note to my friend telling her about my experience and how I was impacted from the night before. She responded as I knew she would - kind, accountable, loving, and compassionate. Her commitment to both our friendship and our individual growth was clear. This was a beautiful opportunity for us to lean in and talk about something uncomfortable, knowing that deeper intimacy and connection is on the other side. What a gift!

See, the thing with Grace is that you don't get to skip the hard part. Grace is the container that holds the suffering, it never skips the pain. Grace holds the stare when everyone else is looking away. I had grace for myself that night when I endured the difficult emotions that inevitably reared their head, I had grace for my friend knowing she is an extraordinary human that had absolutely no intention of hurting me and yet she still did, and I had grace for us both as we entered a terrain that our friendship had never led us to before.

In relationships there is a human tendency to try and hold others as physical anchors which actually distorts and restricts the natural flow of love between us. Love grows through freedom and dies through constriction. As I enter my own sacred wound, slowly unravelling, unwinding, and releasing these old knots, and cutting these old cords, I'm reminded of the beauty of acceptance. Can you accept things as they are and trust yourself to make choices from a place of love? Instead of protecting yourself and masking your pain, can you put yourself out there and be vulnerable? Can you detach from the outcome you desire and allow the other person to have their own experience?

I hear the call for us as individuals to be in deep integrity with our Highest Self, practicing transparency in all of our relationships, and moving away from the fears that obstruct the warm embrace of love.

This is the path I'm devoted to walking alongside you.

When we move out of victim consciousness, we experience the beauty and fullness of this life, relaxing deeper and deeper into the frequency of love, grace, and acceptance.

I am so grateful for my friends that do this sacred healing work beside me and show up in their authenticity at each and every turn.

May we all relax into the universal, unconditional, divine love that exists within.

XO,

Katie